🔗 Share this article Navigating the Yearning for Spontaneous Intimacy Whilst Pursuing a Meaningful Relationship As a homosexual male in my late 40s, my life has involved numerous, largely enjoyable years pursuing casual sex with other men from my teenage years. During my fourth decade, I had a committed partnership which continued for a significant period, however I never felt completely content, because I felt neither loved nor intimately fulfilled. Truthfully, I have always craved casual sex. Every time I begin seeing any man, when the initial excitement dwindles, I always get the urge to be intimate with new partners again. Reflecting on the Possibility of Monogamy Currently, I'm contemplating if I’ll ever be able to sustain a faithful partnership. I understand that many gay men engage in open relationships, but when I’ve witnessed them, they appear like hard work, often resulting in lots of pain and jealousy among all parties. In many ways, I want a partner to love me while allowing me to remain sexually free, however I fear the emotional drain this might create. Should I just continue to have casual sex and acknowledge that a lasting partnership may be unattainable? I’m feeling a bit lost. Every person’s intimate path varies. Try not to think about what you require in partnerships or your ability to handle various forms of intimate connections in a finite way. Your needs as you are experiencing them now may well change down the road; eventually you may find yourself less ambivalent and find greater understanding and a comfortable path … or perhaps not. One day you might meet a person who provides a transformative opportunity for you through mirroring what you want in a holistic fashion … and at another point you may choose that non-committal encounters are best for you. Worrying about the future and playing endless speculation is merely rooted in fear and squandering of your efforts. Try to be in the moment with your partners, and see the worth of every individual with whom you might have a sexual connection. When and if the time is right to strengthen genuine closeness with a single person, you will know. The psychotherapist practices as a American therapy professional who specialises in addressing sexual disorders.